Each year in the United States, nearly 50,000 people die by suicide. Closer to home here in Tennessee, the suicide rate has been increasing, remaining above the national average at around 1,300 deaths per year.
Those are sobering numbers — and beyond that, every single number represents the loss of someone who was loved. For those on the outside, suicide can seem like an unthinkable choice, but for those with suicidal intentions, it may seem like the only choice.
If you know someone who’s having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, your presence and a listening ear can make a difference. This Suicide Prevention Month, take a few minutes to read up on what to do if someone you know is struggling mentally.
Recognizing the Warning Signs
A suicide attempt is rarely the first indication that someone is struggling with their mental health. In most cases, those who are experiencing significant mental health challenges act or speak in ways that can be a red flag that help is needed.
Warning signs can include:
- Eating or sleeping more or less often
- Feeling empty, hopeless, trapped, or very sad, agitated, or angry
- Giving away possessions
- Having extreme mood swings
- Researching ways to commit suicide or self-harm
- Taking dangerous risks
- Talking about wanting to die, feeling guilty or ashamed, or being a burden to others
- Using drugs or alcohol frequently
Withdrawing from friends can also be a sign that something is wrong, so it’s always worth checking in when people you love are quieter than usual.
What You Can Do to Help
While the topic may be uncomfortable, talking with others about how they’re feeling mentally can be lifesaving in some cases. The National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention and the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline have partnered together with multiple health organizations to create the #BeThe1To campaign.
The campaign’s goal is to share that every person can make a difference in reducing deaths from suicide. They encourage people to “be the one to help save a life.”
Here are five evidence-backed steps they share for communicating with someone who may be suicidal:
1. Ask. The first step is to ask the person whether they’re thinking of suicide or self-harm. When doing so, make it clear that you aren’t judging and you’re simply there to help them.
You may also want to ask other questions to find out how and why they’re hurting and what you can do to help. The flipside of the “ask” step is that you need to thoughtfully listen to what the person tells you.
It might seem like asking whether someone is suicidal might push them toward suicide, but studies actually show that talking about suicide may reduce suicidal ideation.
2. Be there. This doesn’t necessarily mean being there in person — you can also be present on the phone, via text or email, or in other ways. Tell the person how you’ll be there to support them, being sure to offer things you can actually follow through on.
This step provides “connectedness,” which research has shown helps prevent many people from turning suicidal thoughts into action.
3. Help keep them safe. If someone tells you that they are considering suicide, ask questions to determine what’s needed to protect them. This can include questions such as:
- Do you have access to what you need to commit suicide?
- Have you already tried to kill yourself? (Please note: If someone answers “yes” to this question, this is considered an emergency. Call 911 and/or the 988 Lifeline to ensure they go to a hospital and seek immediate care.)
- Have you made plans for how to kill yourself?
- When were you planning to kill yourself?
These questions may seem jarring, but they’re essential. With the answers, you can decide whether to take the person to another location and know whether you need to remove lethal means from their possession. Ultimately, you want to put time and space between a person and their chosen means to commit suicide.
4. Help them connect. This step may include taking someone directly to a support team, such as the emergency department or another medical provider, or connecting them with an online safety net, such as the 988 Lifeline.
You can also encourage the person to work with a professional to create a safety plan — essentially outlining what to do if and when they experience thoughts of suicide. The Behavioral Health team at Cempa has experience with providing this type of professional guidance.
5. Follow up. Let the person know you’re there to offer help and support by following up regularly after the initial interaction. Stay in contact by text, email, over the phone, or with in-person visits.
This ongoing contact makes a difference. Studies show that deaths by suicide decrease when people follow up often with someone at high risk of suicide.
“We sometimes think that helping someone through a suicidal crisis requires having the right words or being an expert. It doesn’t,” said Kevin Webster, LPC/MHSP, MAC, Behavioral Health Administrator at Cempa. “What matters first is being willing to notice that someone is hurting, asking directly about what they’re experiencing, and staying connected when it would be easier to look away. We can’t always know what someone is carrying, but we can make sure they don’t have to carry it alone.”
At Cempa Community Care, we’re committed to caring for the whole person, physically and mentally. As part of that commitment, we offer behavioral health services including individual and group counseling. To learn more or schedule an appointment, call 423-265-2273.
